I have mentioned earlier in this blog that I am an INFJ. The “J” in this personality type is both a blessing and a curse, as it essentially (and correctly) defines me as a person obsessed with micro and major goals; I am constantly ruminating as to how to accomplish them. The ‘curse’ in this is that as soon as those goals are met, my mind is instantly on to the next one.
My husband is the opposite; he is an ISTP. The “P” simply means that he is extremely relaxed about his goals in life, lives in the moment, and simply rolls with the punches when life throws him a plot twist. There is something to be admired in the relaxed manner he carries himself, knowing he has already accomplished his goals: to get up, eat breakfast, and see what the day brings. But… I can assure you that my obsession with goals has taught me more about grit, passion, and perseverance than I ever imagined possible. Being able to visualize the good outcomes of the day to day minutiae of living can give us strength to do the hard work of showing up for our lives. When my twins were newborns and would keep each other up all night, I would visualize how wonderful it would be when they were a bit older, and my hard work of being up all night would pay off with confident, secure, and happy children. When my eyes would start burning from staying up late into the evening studying, I would (and do) visualize myself picking vegetables, reading poetry in a hammock, and watching my girls chase chickens in my future backyard. It will be a backyard I will be able to afford because of my hard, unglamorous work of the moment. This goes beyond my personal experience, and into my professional life as well. Showing up early for the day, even when it is difficult and parking is terrible? Begin with the end in mind. Is it taking longer than it should to understand an assignment? Begin with the end in mind. Is a student driving me to the edge of reason? Begin with the end in mind. For me, this “end” looks like a lifetime of investing in the lives of young people. It looks like ending a long career with the knowledge that I have designed a life I love, and that has made the world just a little bit better. But this beautiful “end” does not come about without the gritty, day-to-day realities that create the final product. I have an image that often plays through my mind when I consider my own daughters. The people they have become and are becoming did not happen magically, nor did it happen overnight. They became the kids they are because my husband and I laid a foundation, stone by stone, of sleepless nights, quality time with them, moments, memories, unglamorous grunt work, the daily laying down of our own egos. It is only by laying down these stones that we have helped to build three little castles. Begin with the end in mind.
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